Self Destruction

One must go through a lot of pain in order to cope with themselves because it's what we are used to.
It can go anywhere from alcoholism, drugs, cutting ourselves in order to feel something, punishing ourselves because we think we deserve it, participating in risky sexual behaviors, pushing our loved ones away, to suicide.
There are many other ways to hurt ourselves.
I'm not sure why I need to do it but somehow, as dark as it sounds, it's comforting.